on a context..

every act we made, is a result of non linear considerations which take roles in our brain. we made hard choices. sometimes bitter one. nobody really understand what drives behind an individual decissions. sometimes even that very person didnt. understanding this, should result in how we respond to situations that made by people's choices. that we should really be non-judgemental about what people's choose to be or to do. there are list of facts, conditions, terms, value, that shape the choices people made in certain time and place. i think this is what we called context. seeing reality as a separate thing outside the context could result in wrong respond, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and mistreated.

this understanding should made us more humble. that we are really dont know anything about what's going on. not everything happens for the same reason. there are a continuum of spectrum between black and white. i'd like to brought an example from the game of chess. the thumb rule of 'not loosing your queen' might be a good rule to do. but sometimes, loosing your queen, would be a brilliant thing to do, or the only thing to do.

i remember that once Covey has mentioned that empathy is an effective habit. it is a good theory, but hard to practice. i just remember a story when someone going late to his office. the first response he received from his boss is a smack on the table. but when he told his boss, that his mother died today... guess what happened to the boss..? why does the boss responded madly in the first place? something must be going on in his brain, that drives him to be judgemental and unconciously choose to be mad at his employee at the first place. the reality of the employee's deceased mother, changed that structure in the boss' brain, and unconciously choose to respond softer.

the thumb rule is, the more we understand, the easier we empathize...but i believe that it would depended so much in our level of conciousness.. to think judgementally, to think in short term, to be bear on reality and forgetting the unseen structure is easier to do. it needs the lowest energy level. we evolve this way... many of our ancestor's succesfull decissions are made quick and in short term. but we live in a different time and place, we live in a different context than our ancestor did. i think the best way to do is to adapt to this different context.